Most people who know me know my family. We're kind of a package deal. I'm most fearless when I'm surrounded by my family. Before I explain how awesome my family is, I want to say that my brother and sister are literally two of my best friends. I've always had them by my side, whether we were simply running around barefoot, or crying in the dark in a foreign country. I have always had the two of them by my side, and I always will. I know that.
Families in general are interesting. Every single person in the world has a family. Now that family may not be with you, it may not look like everyone else's, but it is one of the one things that no matter who you are, you have one or had one. Families can be great, they can lift you up and make you feel on top of the world. They can also fall short, but either way you spin it they are your family.
Today, there are a lot of tv shows on about families... I love the shows Parenthood and Modern Family. Parenthood shows me how my life will probably be in a few years, full of family and love. Modern Family is probably similar to my life too in the crazy department. I think both these shows show "real" families, which I like. My family probably falls pretty close to the middle of their spectrum of craziness, love, real issues, and life. I'll just tell you a little bit about my family (on my mom's side)
So there are seven of us cousins and then my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, my other uncle, and my parents. We all live close to each other - after Budapest we needed to be close to family to survive. I went through high school with three of my cousins and my brother... They went to college together and I went to my own school. I never really thought it was that big of a deal going to college by myself (I mean I had moved about ten times before college, so moving felt pretty natural) BUT I had always had my brother and sister with me. It was scary the first few weeks up there. It never actually was easy to be away from my family, I doubt it ever will be. They are all my friends before they are my family.
A few weeks ago I really found out how close we all are. It was amazing. We all have been going through a lot of life changing moments in our lives, and we all figured we should talk about them. But we had no idea it would turn into a five hour discussion about everything that we were feeling - pretty much since eight years ago... Some people probably cringe thinking about opening up to their family especially their parents, but for me it's natural. That discussion was eye opening for me in a different way though. I saw all my cousins and siblings being so open with what they were currently going through which were things I had gone through over the past year and semester... but they were talking about it as it happened! I don't do that. With anything. When I'm going through something or having an issue I bottle it up and try to fix it on my own. The thing with bottling things up is that when there gets to be too much bottled it kind of explodes. Cue my life. With everything I've ever felt or had going on in my life I always bottle it up and then when it gets to be too much for myself or something else bigger happens it all comes pouring out... Which sometimes leads to disaster.
Anyway I really look up to all of them for being so brave. Braver than I've ever been. My family makes me fearless though, when I am around them I am braver than when I'm alone, because they know me better than I know myself most days. Sometimes they drive me crazy or fill my Facebook news feed up with pictures of Justin Bieber, but I love them no matter what. I've also realized that my family loves me no matter what. No matter how short I fall or how badly I mess up they are always going to be there to give me a hand or just to love me and believe in me. I know that I can become a better person because they believe I can.
That's why taking a semester off was kind of a no brainer.... Why shouldn't I try to become a better version of myself surrounded by some of the only people I have ever truly let into the deep little corners of my heart? It's been working, although most of my change has been because of myself, it is also nice to have people around me that would literally turn their worlds upside down just so that I can get the help I need. My family always makes me fearless and gives me the hope I need to know everything is going to be better.
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