You know the old saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"...? Well I feel that right now. Not about a person. About five people. And really a sport. For those of you who don't know I tore my UCL (which is a ligament in my elbow) in September playing the sport I love, volleyball. I played through the injury and after season was put in a horrific looking contraption that restricts my movement. It's my bionic arm. Literally. Anyway I haven't been able to play volleyball since November. NOVEMBER!! It's June now. That is a long time. Anyway, this season coming up is my last one. My last volleyball season ever. It freaks me out. A lot. Anyway I'm getting ahead of myself, let's start from the beginning...
I started playing volleyball in eight grade. I was tall so my cousin told me to come to a Wednesday night volleyball clinic thing. I had never played the sport once in my whole life but I fell in love. Turns out I was pretty good too. I was no Misty May but I was kind of a natural. Don't ask me how, because it still baffles me. So, I started to play. I really needed something to occupy my time because, if you recall, I had just moved from Budapest and I hated it here and wasn't really making any friends. Now you see volleyball is the biggest team sport in the world I believe. It really is all about the team. It doesn't matter if you have a good spiker, if your setter is no good, that girl isn't getting the ball. And if your defense is bad the setter can't set... It really goes in a circle. You can't win a game or even survive one if your whole team isn't on their A game. So joining volleyball going into my freshman year I found myself. It was amazing. I could let out every frustration or emotion I was feeling on the court. And to top it off I made friends. Nothing made me happier than getting a kill or blocking a girl older than me. I loved it. I fell head over heels in love with the game. I realized that playing in college was actually an option for me so I made it my goal. When I have a goal in mind or something I want I usually don't stop trying until I get it. So that brings me to college...
I started college with five best friends waiting for me. I didn't know these girls before I got there. I met them day one. How did I know we would be best friends? Because they were my teammates. My coach recruited six girls my freshman year (five other than myself of course) and we knew we were going to take the team to new heights. Four of us lived in the same building and the other two practically moved in. And I really do mean that, they lived in that building more than their own rooms. We bonded right away. Obviously throughout the years it hasn't been a walk in the park - we've fought and bickered and given each other the silent treatment - but in the end I know that if I were ever having a bad day, I could call any of them and they would drop everything to help me. How do I know that? Because it's happened before! As corny as this sounds I'm going to say it. Those five girls are honestly like my sisters. We don't all hang out twenty-four-seven but I know I will have them in my life forever. Being away from them this semester has been so hard for me. I never realized how much I do depend on them and just enjoy being around them until I couldn't just take five steps for a hug in sweatpants or go on a late night coffee run. I am so very excited to go back for our last season all together but it also makes me sad that it is our last season, our last chance to do it right. To win games, to beat rivals, to maybe even win the conference... It's kind of overwhelming to think that all our dreams are right in our grasp, at the tips of our fingers. Waiting for us to meet them.
Anyway I also just miss the sport. I haven't played in FOREVER and I realize that since freshman year of high school I have always defined myself as a volleyball player! It's just who I am, what I love to do... And I can't do it right now! It's horrible watching people play or seeing my volleyball collecting dust in my room. It kills me to think I have to wait potentially another month... Volleyball has always healed me. Even at my lowest points I have fought through them with this sport, and not having it for part of this semester I really think sent me spiraling out of control. Okay, I'm not dumb, volleyball is not THE reason I has the semester I did but it was part of the reason for sure. I didn't have all my anger come out in a spike or feel satisfaction of getting a floor burn or even the feeling of huddling up and cheering at the end of a point! OH to feel that again! I literally have butterflies in my stomach... I'm chomping at the bit to play! I think I've taken it for granted too... I never realized how amazing it is to play in college or how amazing it is that out of nowhere I was blessed with the skills I have to play the sport I love. And I never realized how blessed and honored I am to have the teammates I have. The sisters I have.
So let the countdown begin... 76 more days until I will be the happiest girl in the world sweating and practically dying during preseason! I can't wait!
