"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Where do you work?"
"Did you graduate?"
"What do you want to do with the rest of your life?"
I need to write this to warn the rest of the girls out there because I was not prepared. Here's the thing, be prepared to be in limbo. I'm currently living at home with no idea as to what I want to do with my life, working as a waitress. Don't get me wrong I like waitressing and it's a fine job to have, but it's not my dream job. The worst part is I don't know what my dream job is. Do you know how annoying that is?? Because according to society and the media, and everyone you talk to... This is the time to figure it out and become whoever you're supposed to be forever. But I don't know what I want to do. I do know I love to travel. I know I love kids. I know I love being funny (act like I'm not). I know I love writing. BUT GUESS WHAT?? There isn't a job that combines all those things with a salary that can support my online shopping addiction. So here I am. A waitress.
I was also under the impression (mostly thanks to RomComs and Disney) that I would be married to a prince at this point in my life (castle and all). But, as a 22 year old, the extent of romance in my life is the relationship I have with Lindor Truffles. Seriously. Of course some girls have boyfriends or husbands at this age... But for me, the idea of getting married right now sounds about as appealing as vomiting for three hours and then swimming in the vomit. I am not ready for a relationship. Not ready to date another 22 year old who has no idea what he wants to be. Not ready to be committed to one person for the rest of my 70+ years on this Earth. Plus, the problem with your twenties is most of the guys out there are in their bachelor mode, which is fine... (Because maybe I'm in bachelorette mode!). Or they are afraid you're going to become attached and fall in love. So most likely they ignore you, or love you and leave you. Truly, this is okay though, because I just compared marriage to a pool of vomit, but companionship doesn't have to be as confusing as it is in your twenties. But it is. And at this stage in the game, the good ones are usually taken. Because they have a job and know what they want in a girl, and some lucky girl has snatched them up. The rest are bunched with me and my fellow companions in the limbo land of no romance (not to say the single people are bums because I'm single and I'm obviously a catch, but you understand). Non-twenty-something-year-olds... Take a tip from me: Asking a 20-something year old their relationship status and then saying something like "Oh you'll find someone soon" is not a constructive statement. Most likely they are either: Coming out of a relationship, totally happy with where they are, or petrified of commitment. Telling them someone is right around the corner is not comforting.
I'm also in limbo because I'm this independent woman who can do anything she wants in the world, because it's my oyster........ Who lives with her parents. And believe me I like it. I just spent the better part of a year paying for an awful, wallpapered, ghetto apartment that I honestly didn't like. So financially it is fabulous. I can save my money for more important things like classes (shoes!), my car insurance (clothes!), and gas (alcohol!). Okay, for real, I'm not spending all my money because I'm trying to be an adult, but it puts me in this limbo stage again, because my parents still have a say in what I do on a day to day basis, because I live with them. But I'm also old enough to make my own decisions. So I never know if I should ask to go out with a friend or if I can just go. Or if I can just stay in bed watching Netflix all day or if I have chores to do. You see the weirdness? I love living at home and not pouring money down the drain on my first apartment, but I also kinda miss the independence from time to time.
Most 22 year olds are coming out of college, ready to become an adult - pretty much over the whole party hardy college scene. They're looking for a job, trying to figure out their next step, struggling to become their dream. But almost every weekend, while these 22 year olds are out in the real world, they miss the college life. They miss having friends literally five steps away, they miss letting loose and having fun knowing they don't have responsibilities again until Monday afternoon in class. They miss naps. Let me tell you, naps is what I miss most about college. When you are a 20-something year old, you have responsibilities. You have to get up and work (sometimes on a weekend) and you can't really let go as much as you did in your teens. And you definitely don't get a three hour nap in the middle of your day anymore. Plus most of the BFFs you made in college are home in their hometowns dealing with similar things (too far to hug but close enough to like each others' Facebook statuses about struggling through life)... The worst kind of college friend is the one who found their dream job and is living the glamorous life in NYC with a beautiful male model for a boyfriend. Don't worry though, even those girls don't have it all figured out. Most likely they are poor. So you go girl, saving your money and living with mom and dad! If they aren't poor then you're right, they win.
The thing is, I'm going through a quarter-life crisis, when I thought everything would be figured out by now. But as much as the eight year old me may be disappointed that Aladdin and I aren't flying away on a magic carpet right now, the 22 year old me is happy. Sure I'm also miserable, confused, lonely, stressed, ecstatic, and hopeful... But that's the magical part about being 22, nothing is final. No feeling, no emotion, no decision. It's all about change and reinventing yourself. And that really is magical.
So cheers to all you other 20-something year olds. Live it up. Make rash decisions. Dream big. Don't take anything too seriously. And above all, love your life! Because it's the only thing that is only yours!
